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Whose life, whose spirit, whose path is this anyway?

We spend way too much time worrying about other people and their opinions. We want to fit in. We want what the other person has – or seems to have. There’s a lot of reasons to “toe the line”, but is it good for us?

Too much time spent worrying about what other people are thinking or doing takes away from you creating and living the life YOU want to live. You lose authenticity. Your goals and dreams start looking like everyone else’s. You lose who you are, and you become disconnected from your Spirit.

It’s time to break out of this cycle, make the decision, and move forward. When you live life on your terms, you find yourself accomplishing more and being happier in your day while experiencing a level of growth that’s not possible when you live according to the comparisons with others. You become more authentically you than you ever were before.

How do you start this process? Check out the 6 Steps below for ideas you can implement today:

Step 1: Create an Authentic Focus

brown wooden letter t-embossed decorIf you have frequently been in the habit of looking to see what other people are doing, it’s time to shift your attention – and your focus – to what’s authentic and genuine to you. Forget about keeping up with the Joneses – they’re not living YOUR life, and don’t have YOUR best interests at heart. What are your goals for the day, the week, the month? What are you trying to accomplish? What is the work which needs to be done by your hands? What’s going to feed your Spirit and your heart? Paying attention to YOU means you don’t have time to worry about anyone else, and the solutions you create will work for YOUR life, not anyone else’s.

Step 2: Weed Out Your Friends List

When you’re busy worrying about what other people think of you, it’s easy to put up with behavior, which isn’tperson writing bucket list on book positive, productive, or beneficial to be around. Quite frankly, some people are…just…well…toxic. These are people who put you down, steal your energy, make you feel bad about yourself, and sometimes even hurt you. Those kinds of negative experiences contribute to a “death by a thousand cuts.” When you’re focused on what’s authentic to you, you don’t hang around people who hurt you, drain your energy or make you think less of yourself. If your “friends” aren’t encouraging you, adding TO your life, or helping you move forward, limit your time with them – and yes, this can even include your family or loved ones.

Step 3: Sharpen Your Skills

It’s common to have something that you are particularly good at – a skill, a sport, or another activity that helps you to show your knowledge and growth, and that leverages your experience and helps you show off your best. But how often do you indulge in this activity? Are you using your skills or talents to their full capacity? When you are true to yourself and confident in your abilities, this means making frequent use of your gifts and even sharing them with the world. Give yourself permission to excel, and to show the world what you’re capable of. You have skills that were created by and inspired by the life you’ve led to this point – no one else has that combination – so put them to work in service of your goals!

Step 4: Money is Less Important than Authenticity

Do you make decisions based upon what will give you the most money? It’s an easy trap to fall into, especially with our society’s focus on more, more, more. Consider this: sometimes we need to do the things which are the most fulfilling over which are the most financially rewarding. That doesn’t mean you have to give away your information and expertise, or that you can never make money from the activities that also satisfy your soul. Following your authentic calling will, in the end, not only fulfill you personally and at a soul level, but you’ll also ultimately make MORE money because when you do what you love, you’ll be the best at it, and that will show up as increased income.

Bonus Tip #1: Embrace Modesty

So, you did a thing. Rather than wasting time trying to impress other people with your accomplishments, step back and take a breath. People will notice the results of your work and appreciate it without your pointing it out. Pro tip? You’ll appreciate the compliment more when you’re not fishing for it.

Bonus Tip #2: Shine!

Most of all, live outside the lines – particularly those drawn by others and “aimed” at you. Be who you authentically are, in all your magnificent, fantastic glory. When you embrace who you are, you’re finally living life on your terms. It’s a beautiful place to be!

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About the Author Dianne Daniels

Born and raised in Detroit, Michigan, and currently residing in Norwich, Connecticut, Dianne M. Daniels' mission is to empower women 50+ to Amplify their Self-Confidence, Deepen their Self-Knowledge, Inspire Creativity, and Glide into the next phase of their lives with the Power of Journaling, Affirmations, and Assessments.

You can learn how to use these time-tested, proven practices to create and manifest the life you want (and deserve) to live.

Dianne is an ordained Unitarian Universalist Minister with a Master of Divinity degree from Starr King School for the Ministry. She's an avid reader, a lover of old houses (she renovated an 1850s vintage Greek Revival home with her family) and has been journaling since the age of 9.

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