March 24, 2021

It’s a bit of a strange title for an article, isn’t it? Yes, you are a person, of course. But, since you are a person, why can’t you treat yourself the way you treat others? The assumption here is that you treat others well. If not, you really need to work on that.

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If you do treat others well, why are they more deserving of that treatment than you are? You can’t truly treat people well if you are not treating yourself in the same fashion. You may be able to pretend for a little while. But, as people get to know you better, they will see through the false shield that you create for yourself.

Make an effort to be that person worthy of your own self-compassion. What does that mean, exactly? Self-compassion is extending compassion to one’s self in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering. (Wikipedia) It means that you recognize when you are suffering and that you make an effort to be kind to yourself instead of beating yourself up. Self-compassion reduces your anxiety and can help to alleviate bad moods and discouragement.

Practicing self-compassion will make you a better person, which in turn, will give you the tools needed to be that way for others. When you extend self-compassion, your spirit is lighter, your attitude more pleasant, you’ll seem more genuine, and others will pick up on that.

It can be about stepping outside your comfort zone, especially if you have not had compassion for yourself in the past. It may feel strange when making the change, and you may feel like you don’t deserve it, but you do. It’s another method of personal growth – because if you don’t continue to grow and change, you’ll stagnate, and that’s not good for your confidence, either.

selective focus photo of woman taking selfie

This is not to say that you should be cocky about yourself. This is entirely the wrong direction to take. It’s great to start to love yourself. But if you become obsessed with that self-love to the exclusion of other things, you lose focus and others will pick up on that as well. The idea is to strike a balance between self-compassion and humility. Try not to get a big head about yourself – that’s not attractive to anyone.

Try to find inspiration for your self-compassion from others who may experience the same. You will instinctively know who these people are. You will find that others always want to be around that person. This brings up an interesting point. When you start to take on that trait, you too will likely have people wanting to be with you. While this is a good situation, you will need to prepare yourself for it as it will take some getting used to.

When you find others who seem to have self-compassion, pay attention to how they behave. What kinds of words do they use? Are they always helping others and cheerful? Chances are good they are. Inside, they are reaffirming the compassion for themselves, and it will come through in their passion for others. In the end, everyone benefits when you have a great feeling about yourself. It shows in your spirit and your values.

About the Author Dianne Daniels

Dianne M. Daniels is a wife, mother, grandmother, great-great-aunt, Unitarian-Universalist Minister, Spiritual Director & Companion that empowers intelligent, passionate women to discover and manifest the best of who they are and who they want to be.

Dianne's focus is on providing immediately applicable tools, tips, and information that can help you get results. Setting a foundation for lasting change - one day at a time, can happy by using the written word and multi-media input to you absorb wisdom, implement positive change, and develop routines that build your self-esteem, self-confidence, and capacity.

Her signature program, The Spiritually Authentic Woman, empowers you to create a new, more joyful life as you let go of living the way OTHERS think you should while discovering your unique, authentic self.

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