It’s a bit of a strange title for an article, isn’t it? Yes, you are a person, of course. But, since you are a person, why can’t you treat yourself the way you treat others? The assumption here is that you treat others well. If not, you really need to work on that.

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If you do treat others well, why are they more deserving of that treatment than you are? You can’t truly treat people well if you are not treating yourself in the same fashion. You may be able to pretend for a little while. But, as people get to know you better, they will see through the false shield that you create for yourself.

Make an effort to be that person worthy of your own self-compassion. What does that mean, exactly? Self-compassion is extending compassion to one’s self in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering. (Wikipedia) It means that you recognize when you are suffering and that you make an effort to be kind to yourself instead of beating yourself up. Self-compassion reduces your anxiety and can help to alleviate bad moods and discouragement.

Practicing self-compassion will make you a better person, which in turn, will give you the tools needed to be that way for others. When you extend self-compassion, your spirit is lighter, your attitude more pleasant, you’ll seem more genuine, and others will pick up on that.

It can be about stepping outside your comfort zone, especially if you have not had compassion for yourself in the past. It may feel strange when making the change, and you may feel like you don’t deserve it, but you do. It’s another method of personal growth – because if you don’t continue to grow and change, you’ll stagnate, and that’s not good for your confidence, either.

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This is not to say that you should be cocky about yourself. This is entirely the wrong direction to take. It’s great to start to love yourself. But if you become obsessed with that self-love to the exclusion of other things, you lose focus and others will pick up on that as well. The idea is to strike a balance between self-compassion and humility. Try not to get a big head about yourself – that’s not attractive to anyone.

Try to find inspiration for your self-compassion from others who may experience the same. You will instinctively know who these people are. You will find that others always want to be around that person. This brings up an interesting point. When you start to take on that trait, you too will likely have people wanting to be with you. While this is a good situation, you will need to prepare yourself for it as it will take some getting used to.

When you find others who seem to have self-compassion, pay attention to how they behave. What kinds of words do they use? Are they always helping others and cheerful? Chances are good they are. Inside, they are reaffirming the compassion for themselves, and it will come through in their passion for others. In the end, everyone benefits when you have a great feeling about yourself. It shows in your spirit and your values.

About the Author Dianne Daniels

Born and raised in Detroit, Michigan, and currently residing in Norwich, Connecticut, Dianne M. Daniels' mission is to empower women 50+ to Amplify their Self-Confidence, Deepen their Self-Knowledge, Inspire Creativity, and Glide into the next phase of their lives with the Power of Journaling, Affirmations, and Assessments.

You can learn how to use these time-tested proven practices to create and manifest the life you want (and deserve) to live.

Dianne is an ordained Unitarian Universalist Minister and holds a Master of Divinity degree from Starr King School for the Ministry. She's an avid reader, a lover of old houses (she renovated an 1850s vintage Greek Revival home with her family) and has been journaling since the age of 9.

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