There’s nothing easier than living a life of conformity. This might seem like a radical statement until you stop to think about it. When you go along with the crowd, you make fewer decisions, have fewer questions, and don’t spend much time trying to figure out what’s best for you. Most of your behaviors, likes, and dislikes are already predetermined. Unfortunately, along with this ‘easy life’ comes a drawback – your goals are also predetermined!

Living with other people’s standards can be very tiring. You will always have things to do, but your work won’t be fulfilling, because it’s not YOUR purpose or YOUR goals you are working toward. Your personal life will also suffer.

Consider these bitter truths about living by other people’s standards and see if they don’t make you want to change your mind about blindly following the crowd.

Bitter Truth #1: You Stop Being Able to Make Decisions

brown number 1 graphicWhen you’re used to listening to what other people think you should do, decisions become harder. You trust yourself less. Your decision-making muscles and apparatus become rusty with disuse, and you’ll trust your own voice and spirit less and less.

Without someone to tell you if you’re correct, how do you know if you’re on the right track? The problem with this is that you lose autonomy and authenticity over time. You step back and let other people make all your decisions for you. What’s the result? You’re doing things you don’t even want to do, which have nothing to do with your goals, which leads us to the next point.

Bitter Truth #2: You Get on the Wrong Track

2 wall decorWhen you live by other people’s standards, you start accepting what their idea of “best” is for you. This can very quickly put you into unhealthy relationships, down career paths you never wanted to go, and into projects which hold no interest to you personally.

What’s worse, if you’re following the crowd and the crowd is wrong, you can end up in over your head, a part of something you never wanted to be involved in at all. Now you’ve fallen into the “mob mindset,” where people passionately follow anyone who is charismatic enough to lead, with no thought as to the right or wrong of the situation.

This is a recipe for trouble – not only are you living a less-than-ideal life, but you’ve also given up your power. YOU have the power to decide what’s right for you – don’t give that power away to ANYONE.

Bitter Truth #3: You Lose Who You Authentically Are

red and black number 3 lighten sigangeWorst of all is how following other people’s standards turns you into a person who only vaguely resembles who you are inside. Now you are no longer authentic or real, even to yourself.

What’s worse is the emotional toll. It’s hard to feel good about yourself when you’re ignoring everything important to you. Your moral compass gets out of whack. You lose track and lose touch with your dreams and ambitions. You’re not even reacting to the world in the way you wish you could, because you’re living a lie.

When you find you’ve been living by other people’s standards too long, there’s only one logical solution. You MUST start by being genuine with yourself, and from there, build authenticity into every interaction. Once you do this, you’ll discover true happiness and who you are.

Get started on the road to greater authenticity by checking out these articles:

Strengthen Your Personal Authenticity – 9 Easy Tips

Live Your Life on Your Terms

Affirmations: My Life is Influenced by My Expectations

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About the Author Dianne Daniels

Born and raised in Detroit, Michigan, and now residing in Norwich, Connecticut, Rev. Dianne M. Daniels is passionate about empowering women 35+ to discover their dynamic, inspiring, vibrant, and authentic selves and embrace their unique journeys. Through journaling, affirmations, and spiritual exploration, Dianne helps individuals deepen their self-knowledge, amplify confidence, and transform their lives with intentional purpose.

An ordained Unitarian Universalist Minister with a Master of Divinity from Starr King School for the Ministry, Dianne blends her ministry with her love for personal growth and creative expression. She believes in the transformative power of connection, interdependence, and spirituality to inspire positive change.

Dianne is an avid reader and a lover of historic homes (she renovated an 1850s Greek Revival home with her family). She has been journaling since the age of 9. She invites others to build lives of meaning, joy, and intentional action through her work.

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